planning considerations
This is my self-imposed planning-intensive weekend, and my little brain is exploding with things that Montréal / traveling in general have gotten me to consider with regards to wheeled-backpacking and adventuring. So I figured it would be good to get some of it down in an organized way. This post will be long and logistics-oriented, and will probably only be interesting to you if:
a. you are also a wheeler or you have other access needs and you are either moving to a new city or planning research-based backpacking of some kind (there are a few resources out there for sightseeing various places with wheelchairs which is great, but that is less my jam).
b. you really really really like me and want to read about semi-boring details in my life
c. you enjoy long logistics-oriented posts
[a winding green outdoor staircase, large-leafed vines covering the left rail]
A fellow disabled Watson Fellow gave me some advice before I set off on this journey, which I have found ENORMOUSLY HELPFUL (Thank you Austin Davis you probably have no idea how much this has influenced me!) :
+ Take care of yourself
+ Acknowledge the qualities that will increase your ability to participate in your adopted community
+ Plan/replan which countries and cities you'll need to avoid, and don't be afraid to change plans to what is most right for you
+You're going to be constantly and unexpectedly challenged, so don't add to the difficulties you're already going to face
These are the areas in which I am trying to apply that advice and get my act together.
#1. Destination Selection : This is infinitely more complicated than I can express, because accessibility means really different things for different people (it means really different things for me depending on the day), so the "how accessible is X city for disabled people" blog posts can only offer so much. So I've realized I have to read as many of them as I can get my hands on in order to start developing a sense of what that cityscape will be like for me and whether it will be worth going there. For me, even if a city isn't particularly accessible there might be some strong reasons to go there anyway (great friends and improv connections, amazing workshops, awesome activism, etc) so I am not necessarily ruling any place OUT based on access alone (after all, there are disabled locals in every place of course), but I have (finally) started allowing it to be a significant consideration. Especially with regards to how long I am planning to stay and what I am planning to do there. If a place seems VERY inaccessible and I haven't made any direct or indirect-but-close improv connecitons yet, my current strategy is wait until I do make those connections, or see if there's a time when I'm not with Stella as much. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I really need to think long and hard about what challenges are good for me and productive for my project and what challenges are bad for me and prevent me from doing my project (or an adaptive, evolved version of my project. I'm down to let my project shift and change a bit).
#2. Research : Access research, specifically accessible public transportation (!!!) has to be a part of my planning process at every step of the way. Googlemaps, metro and transit websites, etc. need to be cross-checked for every neighborhood I plan to couchsurf in or school I sign up to attend. Some cities have awesome resources regarding navigating public transit or reviewing local venues for access (some examples here and here) and I've started an "ACCESS" folder on my bookmarks bar with subfolders for each city I am going to keep track of links like these! I can't assume that a city will be wheelchair friendly because it is bike friendly, and again I think I need to not scare myself away from certain activities or places because of transportation, but I need to at least have a basic sense of how complicated it will be for me to get around in a place before I get there and make commitments.
#3. Commitments : That said, I think it will be really good for me and my project if I make at least one solid improv-related commitment well in advance of getting to a place. Preferably a class, workshop, or interview - something that will be interactive and connect me to people in the improv or performance community right away. Especially if I arrive at a place and it's super tough to navigate with wheels, project-avoidance becomes a mega issue pretty quickly unless I already have something set up to get involved. Another SUPER great and affirming commitment/connection to make beforehand has been with other crip/disabled performers, academics, or activists (shout-outs to Lindsay, Danielle, Tamar and Aimee, if you happen to be reading this!) in whatever city I'm going to.
#4: Outreach : Sort of implied above, but contacting a few improv/performance/activist/theatre/art buddies beforehand and asking them for tips, hang-outs, and show-arounds has also been lovely and super helpful. Finding people who share these interests through friends of friends, couchsurfing, facebook, etc. - I have to admit social media is amazing for this!). This is one of the scarier things for me - just straight-up contacting strangers or loose acquaintances kinda out of the blue and asking if they wanna be friends. Not everyone responds, but the responses I've gotten have led to some amazing conversations and friendships!
#5 Charm : This is the first time I've had to deal with access issues as a grown up, and it's an entirely different thing than when you're a cute wide-eyed little kid and people feel sorry for you and your mom and will easily carry you and your chair up three flights of stairs and feel like a hero and you will feel weird especially because of the pity thing but what else were you gonna do anyway. It's the first time I've had to deal with access issues and been old enough to understand and be fucking pissed at the world for not accommodating human diversity and for being messed up in so many ways, many of which I don't even have to directly deal with on a daily basis and are so so wrong (*mini rant*). I am slowly learning to hold a very uncomfortable contradiction: that it is okay to be angry at this system, and even at individuals who are hateful and unaccommodating - anger is totally valid and necessary - and at the same time recognize that while we ALL need to be accountable for the world we want to live in, most individuals are doing their best in the situation, a lot of them are really genuinely open to helping and just feel awkward about it and their discomfort with my disability it is not my fault but it's also not entirely theirs. As a global community we haven't done a great job of learning and teaching each other how to be comfortable with difference yet, and we can't do that alone. So. I am slowly and imperfectly learning in what situations to be angry, in what situations to give up and go home or take a break or choose something else , and in what situations to breathe, laugh, and take it as an opportunity to practice charming the audience (which we talked about a lot at the Loose Moose!).
Charming tips include: knowing how to say "excuse me / pardon me / sorry / the ramp please / thank you so much" in the local language, knowing how to sheepishly say "I'm sorry I don't speak the language" in the local language, saying "I'm visiting" or "I'm new here" in a charming way, honing a humorous/apologetic facial expression to use on other passengers when ramp malfunctions are causing massive delays, politely declining help, politely accepting help, (it's super interesting to me how difficult it can be to request help when I actually need it, and also how difficult it can be to decline help when I legitimately don't need - or want- it!), smiling and waving at children who stare at you, etc.
#6 Beauty : A VERY IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: Please don't misinterpret what I am about to say about beauty as "yey positivity! the only disability in life is a bad attitude!" kind of thing because that is total BS and that is not at all what I am advocating here (If you need to learn about this topic starting spots I like are here with Stella's namesake or here, both articles talk about "inspiration" and disability in the context of internet imagery but that discussion can be expanded easily to everyday experiences). Noticing the beautiful vines on the stairs does not change the fact that there are slippery, curving winding stairs up to almost every apartment here and two-three flights of stairs up to most rehearsal spaces and one or two unneccessarily large steps into almost every shop and hardly any metro stations with elevator access and even though I can lock up my wheelchair and climb the stairs tons of disabled people can't and shouldn't have to just to participate meaningfully in society.
That said, on Friday I visited my friend Jonathan in his neighborhood to plan an improv workshop together, and as we were walking back from breakfast I thought about how absolutely gorgeous this place is. I was so overwhelmed and frustrated and sad when I arrived in Montréal that I really barely noticed (or noticed with so much resentment that I didn't really notice) much of its beauty. So on the way back to the bus I decided to wheel around a bit and just look for tiny moments of beauty to snap photos of and maybe draw later - the way a vine of morning-glories tendriled around a bicycle wheel, the laced-window of an old apartment, the street art, the cat on the front stoop of a bookstore. I don't recommend this kind of aimless wheeling while hungry, thirsty, rushed, on hilly terrain, or otherwise unprepared - you've gotta be in the right mood. But touring around even just within a few blocks with the sole purpose of appreciating small, ordinary bits of beauty really lightened my load. A good, grounding practice to remember for when things get tough.