Getting Physical
I started taking an improv class for the first time in several years (!), and it focuses on embodiment. Over the past two weeks I've fallen for 'physical theatre' like never before. Painstakingly, I'm regaining the privilege of setting aside the physical calculations I've been practicing non-stop this year – the constant questioning of what might jeopardize my recovery, for how long should I stay standing, when can I next sit, how can I sit still, how can I control the endless uncontrollable factors that contribute to my safety in any given moment. AND IT FEELS SOOO GOOD TO PLAAAAAAAY!
Startlingly, unreasonably perhaps, I find myself playing so much more freely than I ever have before. I let my face light up into slapstick goofball off-the-wall contortions, into unflattering expressions I long-ago trained myself out of; I let my body revel in its own unkempt ungraceful hilarious meanderings.
Physical play in improv is particularly exquisite because it loosens the pressure of building a story or being clever or being right and gives you permission to just be in the moment. When you don't use words, you give up so much control over how a story is interpreted. There's so much freedom in not having control! A delightful bonus is that more often than not, authentic and committed play is quite satisfying to watch from an audience perspective as well.
I'm thinking a lot about what allows me to revel in this kind of play right now. I think part of it is the inevitable exuberance of feeling good, physically; where I'm at in my recovery process. But I want to believe that's not the complete picture, partially because it's not, and partially because it's useful to my survival to believe that it's not. The truth is, I'll get injured again. I'll experience physical pain again and again. Who knows what my body will or won't be able to do in the future. But there must be ways of being physically playful and expressive even amidst that all of that uncertainty and limitation.
In this class I'm taking, we talk a lot about finding that sense of play amidst constraint. For example, in one exercise we'll be instructed that our only options are to walk, stand, or run 'neutrally' and we'll look for ways to play within that limited vocabulary of movement. What I'm learning is that PLAY IS INFINITE.
How exhilarating!!!
